


Waiting

by erinjane98



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Childhood Friends, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Past Character Death, Romance, Sad Ending, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Timeskip, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28989630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erinjane98/pseuds/erinjane98
Summary: You and Reiner are childhood best friends but how will your life change without your best friend around and what would happen when the reality of his shortened life comes to an end.
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Reader, Reiner Braun/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my fic. 
> 
> I hadn’t seen anyone write a fic about Reiner where it’s his last day before Gabi inherited the Titan. Slight season 4 spoilers mainly character spoilers. 
> 
> I did also have a playlist to go with this fic but it didn’t really work to well but I do suggest listening to What about angels by Birdy near the end with his letter. 
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING.

Every 13 years a set of cadets would be chosen to inherit the powers of the titans. The Armoured Titan. The Female Titan. The Jaw Titan The Colossal Titan. The Beast Titan and finally the Cart Titan. Every family of a cadet was brimming with pride to see if they would receive the title of honorary Eldian. Although to every Eldian it was a blessing among to be named with an honorary title, but y/n no she couldn’t help but think that these children were throwing their lives away for a country. A country that simply wouldn’t care if they lived or died.

The sun blazed down on the blonde boy as she rushed towards his friend.

“Hey (y/n)....(Y/N)!!”. A tall blonde boy came rushing towards the gate of the border waving the yellow papers in his hand. Trying to gain her attention but the young girl carried her gaze toward his left arm. ‘A red one he’s a Weapon of the military now’ she thought. Looking back down to the ground she kicked a stone across the street.

“Y/N are you ignoring me hey I’m back. LOOK LOOK. I’m finally an honorary Eldian”. He rushed up to her shoving the armband in her face. Catching her off guard she squinted at it sighing she pushed his arm down.

“Congratulations Reiner.” She said with a sarcastic tone. Her smile dropping although he didn’t see completely in a world of his own.

“Yeahhhh. Aww you should’ve seen the look on Galliards face smug bastard.” He puffed out his chest, pride swelling in his heart. “and we fought to”.

“PPFFff”. She sniggered causing Reiner to glare at her. “Reiner I know he pinned you to the wall, am I wrong”. Chuckling she pokes his side waiting for a reaction. He slouched down looking defeated.

With an aggregated look on his face, he mumbled under his breath “ how’d you know”. Moping he began to walk towards his home. Dragging his arms and feet along the road like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

She stopped and raised a brown at him teasingly. Placing her arms behind her back and kept her chin up. “You’ll speak up when talking to me you filthy devil”.

The words lingered in the air until Reiner glared right into her eyes. She couldn’t help but burst out laughing wiping the stray tear out of her eye until she felt a force push her.

Surprised she opened her eyes to see her best friend infuriated with her seemingly harmless joke.

“Keep your mouth shut. Idiot. Anyone could hear you”. She’d never seen him look so serious. Reiner grabbed her arm harshly pulling her towards his home. Reiner checked to see if anyone heard but the bush streets of Liberio continued on as usual. He knew that Y/N had a terrible attitude when it came to how they got treated living in Liberio. Nevertheless he is her closest friend.

“What if an officer had heard you. I’d be stripped of my titles I’ve barely had it an hour and you.... you’d be dead so shut up”. He gave her a pleasing look his golden eyes filled with worry. Shocking the girl she kept her eyes fixed on the back of his head. Furious with his response she grumbled.

‘Yeah well that was funnier in my head’ she thought.

Feeling her burning gazed he apologised. “I’m sorry. Please you know important this was for me and my family”. She knew that this meant the world to him, so she kept quiet not wanting to upset her friend anymore. He led her down the busy streets into a secluded alley. She rested against the wall rubbing her wrist from his iron grip. She noticed how the boy wasn’t speaking but stayed silent.

‘Oh I’ve properly annoyed his this time’ rolling her eyes she looked up to see him her face dropped in confusion.

“Reiner is there a reason your pacing back and forth. You’re making me nervous”. The boy mumbling to himself walking back and force fiddling with his fingers. He was nervous.

“Y/n...... I’ve already been given a mission”. He tried to be straight forward as he could.

“Isn’t that good news though?”

“I guess it is”. He fiddled with his fingers unable to stay still.

His words made her start to sweat ‘what does he mean guess. Isn’t this what he wanted’. She didn’t like his words. He already had a shortened life expectancy due to the curse of Ymir. What could possibly be worse than losing your life for a country that despises you.

“Reiner please spit it out your worrying me”.

He stopped pacing and looked up and down the alley making sure it was empty. Liberio was small but packed with thousands of ears anyone could hear and spread it round. It’s a dangerous city filled with scared people everyone lives on a knifes edge. It’s not a city where Reiner and Y/N could trust people.

“The Paradise Island mission is going ahead. To destroy to devils that live on the island and reclaim the founding Titan within the walls”.

There was no words shared between the two. She was lost for words. Her eyes welling with tears as she hugged him hard gripping onto his uniform. Reiners eyes widened at the sudden emotion she gave him but he softened his eyes hugging her back. The two friends had a strong friendship since they were small children. Practically joined at the hip as Mrs Braun would say to them. Y/N never imagined her best friend to die when they were young. To carry such a burden on his back.

“Why do you have to go. Idiot you’re only a child”. He was taken back by her outburst.

“Because it’s my duty as a warrior y/n”.

Scoffing. “And? Cant someone else just go?”

“It’s not like that. Not anyone can go”. He pointed to the armband on his arm. Rolling her eyes she sighed.

“How long do you have to go for?”

“We don’t know could be months or years”.

“YEARS??” She turned to him shocked.

“Could be. I doubt it. It’s me I’ll get the job done”.

Still crying she punched his chest. “I’ll never forgive you if u die out there”. Reiner looked at her and laughed. Her eyes widened in surprise, ‘he’s laughing right now. This guy’.

“You really think I’ll let myself be killed you’re joking. Look at me..... no seriously look at me. Look at these guns”. Flexing his arms Y/n laughed wiping her tears from her swollen eyes.

“What muscles. Noodle arms”. Hiccuping she removed herself from him and looked straight into his eyes with care. She couldn’t help but think about him being in danger. ‘We’re still kids how can his life change so much’.

“Just don’t die on me please”. He couldn’t help but feel terrible that he was leaving his best friend in this terrible city alone, even though his job wasn’t any easier. Her words sounding like pleas of desperation he decided in his mind to make it back for her. He grabbed her arm began to walk home.

“I won’t die I’ll be back as quickly as I can be don’t forget me okay”. Flashing a cheesy smile she laughed following him home.

**********

The city of Liberio was filled with cheers and music. The entire population came out too catch a glimpse of the four warriors tasked with reclaiming the founding Titan from Paradis. Among the four was Reiner his smile was booming as he waved at the citizens passing by. He was searching the crowd for his mother and Y/N. When he found them his smile softened his mother waving her tissue as Y/N flashed him with her famous grin.

“He’ll be okay won’t he Mrs Braun. Reiner he’s smart he’ll be okay”. She looked up to the woman who looked into her eyes. The woman bent down and leaned into the girls ear.

“He is my son. No doubt he’ll be safe and complete his mission. It’s for Marly of course it’s what he trained hard for”. She stroked Y/N’s cheek as she caught the last glimpse of her son waving at them.

Although Y/N wasn’t convinced by her words. Mrs Braun had always been strict with herself about being of Eldian blood and forced her values into Reiner. She didn’t resent her for it but she wished it didn’t fuel Reiner to become a warrior. He did everything to please his mother to ensure she lived well within this place.

She had no interest really in what Mrs Braun had to say. The woman didn’t think for herself but let values and propaganda feed her desires. It was known between her and Reiner that his dad was a Marleyan. Poor boy tried to show off his honorary status and his dad tore him apart.

‘I’m not convinced Mrs Braun but if you believe that’

Y/N scrunched her face and nodded at the woman.

She wasn’t satisfied with the answer.

As she watched the carriage take them away a pang in her chest caused her to want to see their boat leave.

“Mrs Braun I’m gonna watch the boat leave. I’ll see you later tonight”.

“Yes dear I’ll see you later”. With that she was off catching up to the carriage. She ran as fast as her little legs could take her. For some reason she felt the need to see him off on the boat. It was reassurance even if she knew it was a lie, just something to make the situation less shitty. The pushed herself through the crowds and eventually made it too the dock.

“Reiner.... Reiner!”

Waving her arms like a madman trying to gain his attention the tall blonde turned to look at her. She slowly lowered her arm.

‘He’s absolutely terrified’.

He turned to look at her his eyes focusing on hers. They were soft but screamed for help. She couldn’t help but pity him. Pulling him into a harsh hug.

“I came to say goodbye too your face. It felt better.” The other warriors laughed with the lanky male Bertholdt smacking smaller males chest.

Reiner rubbed the back of his head. Smiling at Y/N.

“I won’t be gone forever okay. Like a month tops, a quick in and out mission”. She nodded at his words although she sensed him lying.

“Okay just be safe I’ll wait so we can eat your favourite. I’ll make it special.” He ruffled her hair.

“Okay well I’ll be waiting for that then. Burn it and you’re dead”.

“Oh sure like you’re such a chef yourself”. She kicked his shin.

“Ahh....don’t damage the goods y/n”. She smiled her lips twitching upwards.

“ Alright go......go on before they leave you behind. Not that I’d mind”. He laughed.

‘Funny I won’t hear that for a while’

“Okay, stay out of trouble and see my mother if you need anything”.

“Got it boss. Now go I’m serious”.

His picked up his bags and walked onto the boat standing next to the other warriors. There were many soldiers on docks with loaded rifles glaring at the girl, like she didn’t belong there which of course she didn’t. Nevertheless she took no notice holding onto the railings screaming goodbye to her best friend. Watching the boat becoming smaller and smaller.

She had such a nagging feeling in her chest. The thought of it being their last meeting blared in her head. It made her feel sick but yet she didn’t want to worry him.

“I’ll see you later okay”. She screamed waving as the boat became smaller by the second. Reiner blushed at her words trying to cover them from the others.

“Is she your girlfriend?” The shorter male Marcel asked with a smirk on his face. Nudging Reiner moving his eyebrows.

“SHUT UP....she’s my friend”. Blushing furiously he looked at the floor. His actions made Marcel burst out laughing.

“Oh my I was only joking but look at your face dude.” He clutched his stomach doubling over from laughter.

“Marcel don’t. Look at him he’s embarrassed enough”. The tall male patted Reiner’s back giving him a smile.

“Thanks Bertholdt”. He smiled back at the lanky boy. Walking to front of the boat. He thought about how Y/N would cope without him. She was pretty much alone other than her grandma, his mum and him.

‘I won’t die on this mission. It’s my job to destroy the devils on the island and reclaim our stolen powers’. With that he leaned again the railings with his eyes set on the new destination.

She watched the boat fade more and more out of her eyesight along with her friend. Y/N couldn’t help but stare at the red armband placed on Reiners side. It signifies his honorary title but the countdown of his death and she couldn’t help but feel sad about it. He’d only get to spend 13 more years in her life and god knows how long this mission alone will be. She stood so long in her own world that one of the guards hit her with their gun telling her move along.

“Filthy devil. Take yourself away so we can clean and rid of your filthy scent”. She couldn’t but sigh as she started to walk off. Before she could make haste the guard tripped her over laughing at the poor girl. She couldn’t do anything other than look at the floor and pull herself up. Dusting herself down she didn’t  
dare look back at the guards.

Walking away she could hear the comments made but the soldiers. ‘Filthy this, dirty that’.

She sighed through her nose. ‘It’s been minutes and I’ve waited long enough’

*********

After a month had passed, y/n made a decision to visit the docks everyday. It wasn’t like she knew he’d come home after a month but she felt like she had to visit just in case there was any chance.

Walking down the cobbled streets y/n wondered what exactly she’d say to boy when he returned. Would he be his cheerful self again? How would he behave after going through something traumatic? How would she react to him?  
Holding onto the railing with force her knuckles turned white, she felt nauseous. God knows the conditions the warriors are going through right now. Especially Reiner he was always cautious and hesitant.

‘Idiot why’d you have to become a Titan. It’s just a stupid title’. The whole thing was a trivial matter. How could they really trust children with this task.

But everytime she went down there she’d gaze on the empty blue sea. No boats. Just plain water. Another day with no return. Would years pass? Who knows but she’ll come back again tomorrow and get the same answer.

‘Come home soon.....it’s boring without you’. Exhaling from her nose she turned her back on the sea and walked home.

After a year she still visited the docks everyday with hope in mind. Mrs Braun’s attitude never changed, she was pleased with her sons efforts. Seemingly sending four 12 years olds with the fate of humanity on their backs wasn’t enough to faze the woman.

‘It’s been a year and she’s not even the slightest bit worried’. She thought quite agitated by the woman’s actions. Sighing she continued to clean the house. While Reiner was away y/n spent more and more time at the Brauns home. At first it was check up on Mrs Braun and make sure she was coping but the more time she spent there, the more she resented the mother. She’d do odd jobs around the home and help her clean and keep her company. It was the least she could do.

‘I don’t want to be here anymore’. Sweeping the same corners in every room for past year. Exhaling through her nose she collected the dust off the floor and left the room. Making her way through house it always left her feeling down. It’s not as if y/n would’ve received letters even though she despised them. She always associated letters with an end like it would be the final words somebody would say. But no contact completely made it worse. Giving the girl more uneasiness.

Making her way down the step she could hear Mrs Braun humming a tune. Turning the corner to see the mother happily wiping down benches and placing things away. Noticing the girl she turned.

“Y/N tell me is your grandmother doing better?”

“Oh... I mean she’s doing as good as she can. She mainly rests many things make her tired so”. She said as she placed the broom away in the cupboard dusting down her dress.

Lightly nodding. “Well if you need extra help I’m always on hand. I don’t do much these days”. Y/N avoided her eyes as she made her way towards the door.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Well I better go and make sure she’s okay”. Picking up her coat she slipped it on and her goodbyes.

“He’ll be back soon. You don’t have to worry about me so much”.

Gripping the doorknob y/n turned to Mrs Braun and gave her a quick smile and nodded, rather than speak. Closing the door behind her she exhaled loudly closing her eyes. With that she let the autumn breeze flow through her hair as she left and walked towards the docks for the same old news again.

Two more years passed and Y/N was sick. Everytime another year passed another year she started to lose hope. It was tiring. Tiring of hearing the same fake reassurance. Keeping emotions at bay constantly. Gripping the railings by the ocean she stared long and hard. Squinting her eyes in case she saw a boat. The air was bitter and her breathes could be seen. ‘Another winter and your aren’t back. So much for a month. ‘Arsehole’.

Her cheeks rosey and hands cold, she blew on them and rubbed them together for warmth. The breeze was bitter but she told herself to stay a few minutes more. ‘It couldn’t hurt right’. It was becoming dark and the streets busy with singing and cheers. Drunkards falling all over the place. It was the holidays in Liberio, everyone was celebrating. Chuckling to herself she turned to look back out towards the sea.

‘Merry Christmas Reiner’.

Sighing heavily again she shook her head and walked through the bustling streets. The music was loud but the shouts were louder. Lights were hung up and fires blazed it was a warm feeling. Everyone singing carols, even if they were drunk and barely able to form a sentence she couldn’t help but laugh at everyone. ‘Next year. Next year you’ll be home’. Pulling her scarf over her head she made her the carols slowly becoming more faint as she continued her journey home.

********

Now 17 y/n learned to live her life without the nagging thought of Reiner never returning. She excepted his death and moved on.

A knocking on her door woke her up. Groggily she mopped towards the door. She peeped through the hole squinting from the brightness her eyes focused on Mrs Braun. She was fidgety. Knocking again y/n opened the door. The wind was knocked out her lungs as Mrs Braun grappled her into a hug.

Standing still she didn’t know how to react. The sleep in her eyes still apparent. Looking down at the woman she went to speak.

“Mrs Braun?”

Peeling herself off Mrs Braun she looked at the woman who had tears of joy. “Oh it’s great news. They’re back they’re finally back”.

“Huh who’s back.......wait Reiners back?”

“Yes my boys finally back. The boat. The boat is in the distance by the docks”. Startled by her words y/n told the woman to wait while she dressed.

‘He’s home. Finally’.

Instantly she threw her clothes on jogging down the stairs grabbing Mrs Braun by the arm and dragging her out the house. Buttoning up her shirt while she ran letting the mid summer sun blaze on her. She exhaled letting that build up of five years stress disappear in an instant. Y/n thought she had mourned his “death” years back but the sudden announcement of his return made her giddy.

“Mrs Braun I’m gonna run up ahead okay”.

Not even waiting for answer the girl began to sprint up ahead she made her way through to the docks seeing the familiar sites she saw everyday on her route. It became so familiar she knew each turn, step or pothole in the road. The closer she got the louder the city became. Screams and cheers echoed in the streets.

Coming up to the dock she could see the boat. Breathing heavily she choked upon seeing a familiar blonde boy. Although he was different from the last time they spoke. He was taller and muscular. Hair was shorter. To her his appearance wasn’t what she focused so much on it was his face. Tired. Empty. It was Reiner yes but it wasn’t really him.

Next to him on floor tied up was a woman with brown hair, she had freckles and small brown eyes to match her hair. She looked exhausted her features made her look boney and weak.

‘Was this this founding Titan they searched five years for’.

The boat stopped and everyone swarmed the warriors. Marleyan guards ordering Eldians to get back as everyone wanted to greet the warriors and catch a glimpse of the all mighty founding Titan. Y/N wanted nothing more than to speak to boy but held back. She was happy enough to know he was still alive. Sighing with relief she decided eat to leave and catch him at a better time. Turning back round she caught Reiners’s eyes piercing into her own. Her breath hitched she couldn’t move. He gave off such an intimidating aura. Y/n imagined many scenarios in her mind of how she’d greet him when he returned, now the moment was here she frozen.

Snapping herself out of her thoughts she gave him her biggest smile as if they kids again. Waving like a madman. Her feelings overwhelmed her. Her eyes welled with tears, never did she once cry while he was gone it seemed like the wall she built finally cracked. Her tears streaming down her face she turned away from him and ran back towards her home.

Reiner was in disbelief his face stiffened seeing her cry just mere minutes after his return. He couldn’t chase after her, he had a duty to fill. His mission wasn’t successful he lost all his friends and was criticised by his superiors for failing. The Paradis Island mission failed and because of it he carried the weight of the burden on his shoulders. He may as well be dead god knows what the Commander will say to him. Watching his childhood friend disappear from sight he glanced down to frail woman at his feet.

‘How am I gonna tell Galliard about this’

Dragging her along back to the base. He felt strange, like the city had changed. It looked the same but everyone acted differently. Did they know about his failure?

His thoughts were interrupted by another blonde male he had glasses, he tall and carried an intimidating attitude. Lighting a cigarette he took a puff he turned to to male.

“How could a pitiful woman like her carry such a heavy name. Ymir. What a joke”.

Exhaling Reiner watched the smoke blow away. Grunting in response he continued to drag the woman along the streets of Marley.

********

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror inspecting her face. She looked tired.

‘Fuck my eyes are still puffy’

Sighing through her nose she looked turned the tap on splashing cold water on her face trying to reduce the swelling of her eyes.

‘I don’t want to go’

Drying her face she stepped out the bathroom and checked her outfit ‘this is bullshit’ she said while adjusting her armband signifying her status in society. A plain regular Eldian.  
‘Nothing like Reiner’. Stepping out the house she walked toward said males home.

‘A welcome home dinner. Great. What am I meant to say to him exactly’.

Standing at the door she hesitated before Knocking quickly and taking a step back she placed a fake smile on her face. The door was ripped open and too her shock she was engulfed into another hug. ‘What’s with her and hugs today’ nevertheless she hugged the woman back.

“Thank you for coming Y/N, he’s in the dining room I’m sure you both have a lot to talk about I’ll fix dinner”. Mrs Braun took her coat and placed it down guiding her to the dining room. It was same house she used to clean in but it felt so different now. Standing at the door she looked at the male sitting down. He was staring into space his mind in a completely different place.

“Reiner dear, y/n is here”.

Standing up abruptly knocking his chair over. Startling y/n she just glanced at the male before looking down at her feet. He looked at her intently mouth slightly open, no words came out. She felt awkward. ‘I want to go home’ she thought. Sighing she gave him a weak smile.

“Welcome back”.

“Errr yeah thanks”. Picking his chair back up he sat down looking at the table avoiding all eye contact with y/n. Rolling her eyes she walked towards the table and sat down staring right at him.

The silence was unbearable between the two.

‘It’s like I’m a stranger to him. What exactly happened on that island’.

Reiner cleared his throat gaining her attention. Continuing to not look at her he decided to speak first.

“How have you been Y/N?”

‘And so he speaks she thought’

“I’m fine. Is there a reason you won’t look at me?” Catching him off guard he looked straight at her.

“I don’t know what to say to you. It’s weird. This is weird...... I haven’t seen you in five years and now we’re face to face again”.

Taking a deep breath. She nodded.

“No I know how you feel. If I’m honest I don’t want to be here. I don’t have much to say really. I waited five years and in those years I planned numerous times what exactly I’d say to you. But seemingly nothing seems right, now that I’m here in the moment”. Sighing she grabbed her drink and took a sip.

Reiner was quite taken back by her response.

“Nonetheless Reiner I’m glad to see that you’re healthy and safe”.

“Thank you Y/N. You yourself still look healthy. Different but that’s to be expected”. Taking a gulp of his own drink. Taking his response in she decided to break the ice and tease the stiff male.

“Different. In what way Reiner?” She smirked at him watching his eye widen and a blush spread across his cheeks.

“Well.......well I meant as in you aren’t 12 anymore so of course you look different. Grown up.” Mumbling as he took another gulp. Chuckling at him.

“Glad too see you haven’t changed much” poking him in the chest she was taken back by how built the man became. ‘Holy hell he’s ripped’. Continuing to poke as he just deadpanned.

“You haven’t changed either then”. He laughed, it was deep taking Y/N by surprise she blushed. It was her turn to grumble as she leaned back into her seat. A deep laugh erupted from his chest causing y/n’s chest to flutter as a blush tinted her face.

Mrs Braun soon walked through handing out food. Conversation never ended after that it was if the pair had never separated. Mrs Braun kept asking questions about the island and the devils who resided there. Reiner found every possible excuse to avoid answering her questions. Fortunately she stopped and caught him up to speed on the happenings inside Liberio. Soon hours has past and the best friends reunion was ending. Reiner looked worried again fidgeting like he did when he was a kid.

Y/N knew his habits and when he was nervous he’d constantly move and couldn’t keep himself still.

“Reiner you have something you need to tell us don’t you”. His eyes widened with shock then looked at the table. Mrs Braun was confused and looked at her.

“What do you mean Y/n?”

Not taking her eyes from Reiner she answered the worried mother.

“He fidgets when he’s nervous. He doesn’t get nervous unless there’s an issue”. Glaring at the poor boy. “Am I wrong Reiner?” Shaking his head he looked between the two women.

“Y/n’s right...... I have important news to tell you. I’m guessing you already know about the ongoing war that was recently declared against the Mid-East forces.” Scratching the back of his head he looked more worried than before.

“Jesus Christ Reiner spit it out will you”. Y/n was sick of his reluctance. Shocking both him and his mother he stood up and exhaled deeply from his nose.

“I’m getting deployed as a weapon of the military”. Y/n sat in silence she had no emotion this time round. It felt like history repeating itself again. She felt hopeless she felt well and truly spent. ‘I want to go home’.

Mrs Braun couldn’t have been prouder of her son clapping and giving him a hug. He hugged her back but his eyes wondered to his friend who was sat in silence staring at the wall in front of her.

“Reiner that’s brilliant you’ll once again bring pride to this families name. Oh I must tell Gabi she’ll be amazed by her brilliant cousin yet again”. Laughing and cheering she ran out of the room.

Just like the beginning of the night the room was silent a pin could be dropping could be heard.

“When?”

“Huh”

“I said when?” She refused to look at boy. Her leg shaking under the table and her arms crossed.

Hesitantly Reiner stood beside y/n placing a hand on her shoulder. She flinched at the sudden contact. Sighing he told her.

“Tomorrow morning. I leave tomorrow morning”.

Standing up she stood in front the male. The room that was once silent will filled with an echo. She had brought a harsh slap to Reiner’s cheek, stunning him. Although he towered over her she did not feel scared nor did she feel intimidated. In fact she was angry. Angry at the fact he would leave again and may never return for real this time.

Looking up at him with pleading eyes she grabbed onto his red armband with shaky hands.

“It’s because of this. This shitty cloth that dictates your life. Isn’t it enough that you sacrificed five years of your shortened life already”.

She scoffed at him shaking her head. Gripping his arm tighter he could only look down at her.

“How many more will you lose before you can rest Reiner. Look at you, your 17 and already you’ve lived through the experience of seven lifetimes. You’re a real arsehole you know that. Mrs Braun might love the idea but she doesn’t understand the fact you might never return. She’s blind just like you. Reiner you’re fighting for country who doesn’t give a damn if you live”.

He was taken back by her statement reaching for her hand she slapped him away harshly. He felt terrible about what he was doing. Of course she was right but he couldn’t abandon his duty as a warrior.

“Y/n I-“.

“Don’t touch me Reiner”. She brought her arms by her sides clenching her fists so tight they started to go white. She refused to shed tears. Shaking where she should.  
“Don’t touch me”.

Turning on her heels she walked towards the door grabbing her coat. Reiner followed behind hopeless on what to say to her. He gripped her wrist.

“Please. You know I can’t abandon my duty y/n. I worked so hard not to give up now. I decided to put my life on the line knowing the risks and I will do it again”.

Turning to meet his sharp golden eyes she furrowed her brow sighing in disbelief.

“And that’s the issue. You’re a coward. You think if you earn titles you’ll get to live like a normal human in this sorry excuse for a world. You’re a fucking joke and you know it”.

With that she slammed the door behind her and ran down an alley leaving Reiner feeling rejected. She slumped down the wall shaking her breathes became shallow trying her best to catch her breath. Clutching at her coat she tried her best to hold back her tears.

‘He’s gone. He’s gonna die and I can’t stop it’. Y/n tried her best to calm herself down but couldn’t her thoughts got the best of her and she broke down. They stripped her bare and her deepest fears became a reality. Dragging herself along the streets she made it too her door opening it she fell straight into her bed. The weight of the day abundant on her mind.

Feeling helpless she finally let her tears take over sobbing into her pillow. Eventually exhaustion took its toll on her and she fell into a deep sleep.

Y/n didn’t wake up till midday she felt too tired and exhausted of the nights events to leave her bed. When she did she noticed a letter under her door. ‘Reiner’ she thought. She felt as if she overreacted to the situation but she knew she was right. He threw everything away for a chance to give his mother a normal life.

Lifting the paper off the floor it had her name on the front.

‘I hate letters, say it too me if it so important’.

Scoffing she threw it on her table and left to clean herself up.

Coming back down she eyed the letter but continued to ignore it. She fixed herself something small to eat and sat down at the table. ‘I really hate letters’ picking it up she sighed opening it. Inside was a small handwritten letter from Reiner.

To y/n,

I’m leaving today and I don’t know when I’ll return. I know you’re angry at me and know how you feel about Marley. You say I have a choice but I don’t I’m stuck in deep shit and can’t help but sink.

I am an honorary Eldian and I earned that title I inherited the armoured Titan to protect my mother. I did it to protect you. If I die saving this country that’s fine because I protected you too that’s what matters. Don’t stay too mad at me okay I’m trying.

No matter how long it takes I ensure you that I will see again. Although you may have to wait awhile. Well by the time you read this I’m probably on the train toward the Mid-East. Keep healthy and stay safe don’t run your mouth.

Reiner Braun.

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows in annoyance. ‘Moron.......just hurry up’. Placing the letter back down she finished her food, placed them in the sink and cleaned them up. Checking the time her eyes widened she was meant to help Mrs Braun again.

‘Shit’.

*********

The war with the Mid-East forces lasted four gruelling years. In that time y/n became a nurse for the injured soldiers. She saw many things in that time nothing could surprise the woman.

“We need beds, we need supplies”. Huffing out she dusted her dress taking the stock check. Supplies were dwindling and the rise in casualties any kept getting higher. Catching what she could she went to the injured soldiers.

The Marleyan government came up with the brilliant idea to use Eldians as soldiers as it was save their men from harm while killing devils. It upset the girl to see her people be used as weapons. Just as her friend.

‘I don’t know how we’ll cope during winter we don’t have the supplies left’. She was exhausted and mentally drained. She wondered how long it would take to win the war or lose even but she refused to think like that.

Applying the gauze to a patient a messenger ran through the halls of the hospital.

“WE’VE WON. IT’S OVER THE WAR IS FINALLY OVER”. Lifting her head she looked to nurse beside her. In tears she hugged the woman beside her. No words were shared as they all basket in relief that it was all over. Everyone felt relieved that they won. For once she felt prideful of her Eldian blood. Y/n worked hard, harder than any Marleyan could. They have no idea the extend of the harm inflicted onto these men.

Leaving the hospital, she noticed everyone’s attitudes and auras changed. It felt lighter like a complete switch had been turned. Walking down the streets people celebrated, drinks were shared. Eldians suffered a lot watching loved one get shipped to war and never returning. Some came back so destroyed they may as well be dead. The psychological trauma these poor men suffered at the hands of the Marley government made y/n remember about her friend who is also a weapon.

Scoffing she silently made her way through the streets listening to world around her celebrate. She had no doubt that her friend was alive it was a feeling call it a hunch, but she was expecting his return tomorrow.

Walking into her home she quickly jogged up the stairs and changed out of her uniform. It was dirty. Filthy, five years worth of blood and grime. No matter how many times it was cleaned it continued to develop a story of blood stains. Looking at the dress she hung it up. Placing her armband beside her bed she turned down her lamp and let exhaustion claim her.

********

The sun shone brightly through the curtains waking her up. ‘Another hot day’. Yawning she got up to get ready. Walking past the letter Reiner gave her four years ago. All these she kept it. To her it could’ve been the last thing he gave her and for that she’d keep it wether it be a letter or not.

Getting herself ready she adjusted her armband walked to her door and placed a smile on her face. Opening it she noticed Mrs Braun waiting at the end of the path. She was already crying and she was yet too see her son.

“Good morning Y/n. You know I heard great news about the things he’s done in the war”. She looked content and was filled with pride that her son had accomplished incredible things in his lifetime.

“Oh.....I haven’t heard much I kept away from the news in case something terrible had happened”. Linking herself with the woman they strolled towards the gates leading into Liberio.

Nodding. “I understand. I know how important he is too you. He’s your only friend and has been all your life. Now look at you grown to be a beautiful young woman y/n”.

Looking at the woman she couldn’t help let out a small smile. “Thank you Mrs Braun. He is very important me. Your son has accomplished a lot you’re right”.

The pair didn’t converse anymore although it was a comfortable silence y/n’s thoughts were screaming at her. She was nervous again. A huge chunk of his life was gone again and she couldn’t prevent it. He had a small amount of time left, what if they gave him another mission and he died.

As they got closer towards the gate crowds of Eldians gathered to meet their loved ones. ‘Everyone’s worried I’m not the only one. It’s fine’.

Mrs Braun found her sibling as they waited for their daughter to return. Another reason that made y/n sick, sending children to war and by the looks of it she was a critical part of them wining. Such a young child she should have a normal childhood playing and having no worries. Instead they’re thrown into war.

The opening of the gate pulled her from her thoughts as she waited to see her best friend. Mrs Braun gripped y/n’s arm, looking down she rubbed the woman’s hand and reassured her.

Men and women whaled learning about the fate of their families. Y/n cringed at the sound she looked at her feet wanting to leave. Although there were many fortunate people hugging people they hadn’t seen in years. Continuing to look at the floor Mrs Braun squeezed her arm tightly. Looking up her eyes widened at the male walking toward them

He was taller than before. His blonde hair extremely faded. His face was skinny along with his body, he was half the size he was before the war. Her eyes were glazed inspecting the man who used to be.

‘He’s so much more fragile. He looked like glass breaking at the slightest touch. I want to go home right now’. Taking a step back Mrs Braun released her arm and ran to her son engulfing him into a hug. Y/n felt out of place she felt like a stranger. Mrs Braun was crying her son grew up without her he left a child and came back a brand new man.

“Oh look at you. So handsome. You’ve grown into such a wonderful warrior. Just like you wanted”. Y/n flinched at those words. She still remembered her last words to Reiner. They weighted heavily on her for the last four years.

“Reiner come see y/n she came with me today”. It made him at up at her his chest flutter as did hers. His eyes soften as he walked towards her. Her breath hitched as came closer to her, it didn’t feel real. He didn’t feel real.

“Y/n it’s goo-“

“IM SORRY”. Without warning she hugged him tightly. Taking him by surprise with her arms around him she could feel how skinny he really was. It’s upset her deeply it was like he was wasting away. Nuzzling her face in his chest he hugged her back even tighter.

“I missed you too. I told you I’d come back......again”. Nodding into his chest she sighed and released herself from him. Looking at him closer she saw the perfect way to tease him.

Reaching up too his face she lightly brushed her hand along his jaw. Causing him to choke.

“Y/n what are you doing?” Removing her hand she looked at him pouting.

“After four years the best you could do was grow a small amount of chin fluff. I must say I’m disappointed”. He furrowed his eyes in annoyance moving forward he flicked her on the forehead.

“You’re 21. Really y/n and what do you mean chin fluff. I have the finest goatee in Liberio”. Holding his she burst out laughing at the poor male.

Wiping a stray tear she caught her breath “And you’re still funny. Aww dear me you aren’t keeping it”.

“Stop being an arse. I look hot. Look at me. Y/n seriously......look”.

Screaming in laughter causing by standers to glance at the pair. She watched the male brush his beard with smallest comb she’d ever seen.

“That will never see the light of day again. I’ll shave your chin fluff myself if I have to too”.

“I’d like to see you reach”.

He’d crossed a terrible line. She had shock plastered all over her face.

“How. Dare. You” she gasped clutching at her chest.

“How rude Reiner Braun. I’ll do it while you sleep then problem solved”. She kicked him in the shin. “Calm me short again”. Laughing she walked up towards Mrs Braun and her sibling. Listening to Gabi tell her own stories of war.

Reiner stared at the young woman with his soft golden eyes. He was glad to be home but the unbearable stress chewed away at his conscious by the second. He felt fatigued and needed a well deserved break.

“Y/n, you must join us for dinner I’m sure Gabi and Reiner must have some interesting stories”.

“Of course I wouldn’t miss it.” She looked down at her watch she realised she was late for work. “I’m late for work so if you’ll excuse me. Is 7 okay for you Mrs Braun?”

“Yes. Yes see you then”. With that she turned to Reiner and smiled waving her goodbye.

“See you later okay. I bet you have a lot too talk about. I know I do”. He watched the h/c girl walk away from gates deeper into the city.

*********

‘Tonight’s different. He won’t have to leave the next day. I’ll make best out of a shitty situation’

Putting on her coat and adjusting her armband as she always did she glanced at the letter on the table. Scoffing she grabbed it and threw it in bin. ‘I’ve always hated them’. She walked towards door and left to go to the Braun’s home.

Walking in the home it had a completely different atmosphere to the last time. It wasn’t as tense it felt like when she was a child, a warm home. Walking in the dining room she was greeted by the family. Reiner walked towards y/n taking off her coat.

“So polite Mr Braun”.

Smirking. “Shut up”. The pair laughed as they walked back towards their seats. The meal was great as Gabi told, well shouted about her experience at war. She spoke about such gruesome acts that took place but didn’t seem phased by any of it at all. She spoke about how she risked her life in order for the Marleyan plan to take place.

‘She isn’t a normal 14 year old girl. She’s another generation of weapons. Used by the Marleyan military’. Shaking her head she took a sip of her wine. Not noticing the pair of golden eyes on her. Reiner took in y/n’s reaction to the war stories and he knew exactly how she felt. He had to agree with her this time, it was his little cousin on the front lines. He wanted nothing more than for her to be a normal child and not be like him. Reiner had his childhood stripped of him and instead was replaced with pointless propaganda.

“So Reiner you’ve never spoken about your time on the island what happened son?” Y/n and Reiner’a eyes widened staring at Mrs Braun. Was he finally going to explain what happened.

“Ahh......well the title devil is something they all deserve”. He spoke so proudly of what he believed he spent so much time there surely he’d know how hellish the people on paradis are.

“If only those island devils disappeared, we Eldians could finally be happy”. Everyone at the table nodded in agreement y/n could only stare at her food.

Reiner cleared his throat and leaned his arm on the table holding his chin. Exhaling through his nose he continued.

“I infiltrated their military. Every last one of’em was a savage, heartless devil. During the entrance ceremony, one of them started eating a potato. The instructor yelled at them, but they hardly seemed to care. Said they stole it cuz it looked tasty. Realising they crossed the line, they said they’d share half with them. But the piece of potato they offered wasn’t even close to half. Being considerate doesn’t even cross their minds. They’re truly beyond all help. An insincere jerk who only thought about himself. There were all sorts of people there and we were there too.........my days there were truly hell”.

Mrs Braun gasped at her sons words her face in far too much shock. Everyone on the table sat in fear of these devils. The only sound I’m the room was the powerful wind outside crashing against the windows. While y/n smirked realising he was dramatising the simple. Things to make it seem like he was truly in hell. Noticing the change in atmosphere Reiner continued.

“I’ve said too much forget it”.

“What do you mean, ‘all sorts of people’? They’re all bad people right?” Gabi was the first too question Reiner’s words.

Mrs Braun placed her hand on her shoulder. “That’s right Gabi. Those island devils turned out world into hell. There’s no knowing when they’ll attack with giant titans and flatten the world. It’s up to good Eldians like us to make sure they never do”.

Gabi nodded in agreement with Mrs Braun. Conversation after finding out about the island slowed down and y/n didn’t speak again after. She thought it best to finish her food and leave.

Reiner reached over to place his hand on y/n’s shoulder but too his surprise she dodged him and continued to eat. His eye widened and he nodded understanding how she felt. Her leg shook under the table. All her life she never truly understood why the people on the island were bad and hearing Reiner’s cover up story he gave his mother, confirmed that they weren’t really devils. Just a group of people who have no idea about the world around them.

Mrs Braun’s attitude never changed and it seemed that the rest of the family felt the same.

‘Reiner knows they aren’t bad people. So why does he continue to serve the military’.

Helping Mrs Braun clean away she avoided the blonde for the rest of the night. Grabbing her coat.

“Thank you. It was wonderful as always”.

Placing the final dish away Mrs Braun turned to y/n.

“Oh y/n aren’t you staying tonight. The weather is terrible I wouldn’t want you to get sick.”

“No. I’m going to go. Early start tomorrow and all.” She had grabbed Reiners attention as he looked at her with pleading eyes. He stood from his chair and walked over to the girl. She opened the door and he closed it in front of her.

“Don’t go.......the weather”. She looked up at him and shook her head.

“Reiner let go”.

Sighing he let her open the door and she swiftly left. The rain was heavy and the winds were strong. ‘Wish I brought an umbrella now’. She was angry it was like he still didn’t understand how terrible the situation is. No one is bad, it’s ancient history we’re still paying for’. As she walked a strong arm gripped her hand tightly. Turning round she saw the 6’2 blonde male shaking.

He was staring right into her eyes so desperately. His breathing was staggered and his chest heaved. He was trembling and his face had hot tears streaming down his cheeks. Reaching her hand towards him he grabbed her wrist.

“Reiner wh-

“Don’t speak. Let me explain everything too you......please”. Letting her arm go he brought his hand too his chest, clutching his uniform.

“I WAS WRONG........I was wrong about everything. They weren’t devils not at all, they’re normals humans like us. In fact they’re so clueless about the real world they think they’re the only humans left in the world.”

Y/N couldn’t believe what he was saying.

“What really happened out there”.

He fell too his knees holding his head crying he was shaking so much. He was broken. He felt ashamed, exhausted and wanted nothing more than die. Y/n couldn’t believe she was watching her childhood friend breakdown in front of her. He looked so defeated.

“I killed innocent people. So many innocent people thinking they were devils. Just because we were told so. I’m blind so blind”.

She leaned down beside him and engulfed him into a hug. She held his head into her shoulder patting his blonde hair.

“It’s not your fault. How could you have known. You were a child. A child Reiner”. Holding him she looked down to his red armband sighing as he weakly held onto her

“I’m such a failure I let all my friends die. They were gonna quit the mission but I forced them too continue.....I FORCED THEM. THEY’RE DEAD BECAUSE OF ME. His breathing hitched as he struggled for air. Holding onto his shoulders y/n pushed him back looking straight at him her eyes danced his face. The boy was destroyed, Marley destroyed him, he looked so weak and his will to live had disappeared.

“I can’t sleep at night. I get nightmares the memories keep flashing in my mind. I see Marcel getting eaten by a Titan, forcing Annie and Bertholdt to continue only ended with me losing them. They wanted to come back but I convinced them that the mission was important. My comrades in the military, they dropped like flies their blood sprayed in air hearing their cries reaching out for help that wasn’t there as they got eaten. Watching their souls disappear. I killed an innocent boy because he was gonna find out about us. I watched him scream our names for help begging for forgiveness. I STOOD AND WATCHED HIM DIE Y/N DO YOU UNDERSTAND......my own comrade”.

Reiner gripped y/n’s shoulders his body tense as he shook uncontrollably his breathing was staggered as he struggled to calm himself down, his eyes filled with misery hot tears poured from them. Y/n could only listen as her mind went blank. She couldn’t believe the words that came out his mouth. All this time her friend was suffering and she could only criticise him more.

“You didn’t know. You didn’t know anything, you thought you were doing the right thing. Reiner you’re learning from these mistakes none of this is your fault. You were taught to believe those people were devils. I’m sorry for not hearing you about before I was ignorant to believe you were fine and that you aren’t suffering”.

Reiner avoided looking at y/n. He wanted the ground to swallow him up. He didn’t want his friend to hear of the atrocities he committed to thousands of innocent people.

“Reiner, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I thought you’d hate me. I’ve killed. I’ve killed innocents women, children and men. If I told you you wouldn’t want to know me. The real me the murderer. Even Galliard said it was true that I was a waste that he should’ve inherited the armoured”.

Pulling him back into a hug she patted his back. Silence fell between the two as they let the rain fall hard. Y/n felt his heart beat slow down as she continued to hold him in her arms. Exhaling deeply from her nose.

“How could I hate you. I love you Reiner. There’s nothing that could change that. Not even nine years away from me could change that. Please don’t beat yourself up about it you’re not at fault and Galliard....he lost his brother of course he’d be angry but you should know you inherited the armoured for a reason”.

He pulled away staring at his own hands they were shaking.

“I have blood on my hands and they won’t even be clean. No matter how hard I wash them. I could scrub them till they bleed they’ll forever be filthy”.

Y/n placed her hands over his own and held them lightly brushing her thumb over his knuckles. She felt how callused his hands were against her smooth ones they all told a different story. Squeezing his hands he looked back up at her and she tried to give him the best smile she could.

“The government has taken everything away from you. You never got to be a real kid and have fun. Yes you have a title whatever, but it’s not worth your life. You don’t have long left as it is don’t let those memories drag you down. I’m here. I’m here with you right now. I’ll never leave you, just let me help you...... please”.

Now it was her turn to look at him with pleading eyes. She felt helpless there wasn’t anything she could really do other than support him best she could for the rest of his time alive. She smiled genuinely at him it caused him to blush at her.

“What did I do to deserve you”. He laughed deeply surprising y/n, his laugh never failed to make her chest flutter. Lifting her hand to his face she wiped the stray tear from his cheek.

“Unfortunately You’ll always be stuck with me”. Taking her hand in his he softly kissed the palm smiling. Y/n’s face blew up blush spread across her face.

He chuckled again. “Y/n did u mean what you said before?

“Of course I do. I should’ve said it years ago”.

He looked gobsmacked he scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Well I lov-

“Don’t say it yet. Let it be perfect when it truly feels necessary. I don’t need you to tell me something that I know is true. Not just yet”.

Nodding he held her hand tightly and lifted his other hand and placed it to her cheek. She didn’t move but looked straight into his loving eyes. He moved closer inches away from her lips.

“Then you won’t mind if I do this”. After the words left his lips he connected with hers. He kissed her desperately and held her close wanting the moment to last. Slowly removing himself from the girl he didn’t want it to end in case it wasn’t true. That he’d open his eyes and she’d be gone. Until he felt a poke in his cheek.

“We should go inside and get warm. You’ll catch a cold. Warriors get sick too you know.” Lifting herself up she held out her hand to Reiner, grabbing it he got up and straightened out his uniform. He continued to hold her hand tightly as they walked back to his home. He felt happy it’s been years since he felt a small amount of happiness but the bitter realisation of his shortened life span gnawed away at the pair of them.

He only had a few years left to spend with her.

**********

“Yeah and you used to cry all the time as a kid too”. Laughing, y/n placed the dishes away in cupboard and cleaned away any mess. As Reiner began to slowly walk up the stairs gripping the banister he began to cough uncontrollably doubling over. Y/n rushed over to help the fragile male.

“Let me help, you must be tired from today.” She held onto his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders grasping his waist supporting him up the stairs.

“I can’t help but feel like a burden to you again”. He weakly laughed causing y/n to scoff.

“Don’t be an arse and let me help you. I promised didn’t I”. Looking at the woman he nodded in agreement as they continued to walk up the stairs.

Placing him down onto the bed he turned up the oil lamp as y/n closed the blinds. He sat and stared in awe at the beautiful woman before him. Healthy , strong and full of life. But when she turned around all she could see was the shadow of the former man who used to be. Reiner looked small, his skin drained of any colour he looked so ghostly and his face showed prominent dark circles and his cheeks were sunken. Closing her eyes she sighed and walked over to the male. She bent down and kissed him softly stroking his face.

“Today was a busy day come on, you’ll be tired”.

She cuddled herself next to him on the bed, the lovers gazed into each other eyes the harsh reality finally setting in. Reiners 13 years had finally come to and end and tonight Gabi was too inherit the armoured Titan to serve her country.

“What did I do to deserve such a wonderful woman”.

She scoffed before laughing. Reiner held onto y/n’s hand brushing over the simple ring that hugged around her finger. Smiling he kissed her hand while she studied his face. Not realising the tears that formed in her eyes were now dancing down her cheeks.

She choked. “Four years flew so quickly didn’t they. To me every minute was worth it.” Smiling so sweetly through her tears.

The man himself began to tear up in the face of his love. For the first time in four years he felt completely helpless all he could was watch the woman he loved cry.

“Y/n please don’t cry. I’m sorry I can’t stay longer but it’s my final duty as a warrior”. Nodding she understood. He lightly brushed her tears away. She’d always understood ever since the day he came running up to her wearing that red armband. She nuzzled into his shoulder soaking his uniform. They held onto each other so firmly, desperate to not lose each other’s touch.

“I hope you know I don’t regret marrying you. Reiner. In fact I don’t regret meeting you at all”.

He chuckled lightly tracing down her back. She could feel how boney his fingers had become and how icy they felt.

“I’m glad. I thought it was a stupid idea but I’m glad you talked me out of it. You’ve always been so important to me all my life”. He continued through staggered breaths. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my vows to you y/n”. She gripped onto his uniform tighter looking at the ring on her finger. Closing her eyes she exhaled.

“Don’t apologise for something you can’t control. Your here right now”. She felt so sick she watched the man she loved grown old in front of her. He was a strong and healthy young boy tall and muscular. Now he was the opposite he already felt cold in her arms like he was already gone. Reiner trembled in her arms his heartbeat weak and slow.

For months he struggled to do simple tasks getting tired easily. Reiner became fragile so quickly. Not being able to finish a whole meal or go on a simple walk along the docks. His skin started to pale and thin and his perfect blonde hair began to thin out and fall. To y/n it was like he aged rapidly. That he was 80 in a 25 year olds body. She struggled to help him whenever he needed it, she felt stressed and agitated with him but it only made her feel guilty about the pain he was going through.

“Are you cold?” He didn’t answer for a for a minute. Y/n held her breath in fear of the worst. Her eyes widened her body shaking.

That was until he coughed knocking her out of her thoughts. She sighed deeply feeling relieved.

“No I’m fine........ I’m pretty tired though.” She hummed now she was stroking his hair. He continued to cough it was dry and empty he was choking on air struggling to breathe. She rubbed his back calming him down.

“What am I gonna do with you. Go on you can sleep if you’d like the Galliard will be by soon.”

“Yeah you’re right. Y/n can I say something?”

Continuing to thread her fingers through his hair she nodded.

“I’m glad you decided to be my friend all those years ago. I wouldn’t have survived the island knowing someone like you wouldn’t be there too see me back. I’m even more in your debt for letting me marry you”. She laughed still holding him close.

“Like I said that night you can’t get rid of me that easily Reiner. Your mine and I’m yours all have, always will be”.

Placing himself back down he looked into her eyes. His golden eyes had became watered down and faded. It made her start to cry again the reality of their situation staring her down.

“Thank you so much for the past four years. I thought I’d lose you when I told you what happened on the island”.

“I already told you, what happened on the island wasn’t your fault it never has been”.

She kissed him tenderly holding him closer.

“Can I say one more thing?”

“Of course my love.”

“I’ve wanted to say this for four years. You told me to wait for the perfect moment and it seems now is the right time. Don’t you think?”

She knew exactly what it was he wanted to say and to her it felt devastating. ‘Don’t say it don’t say it please’.

Y/n’s eyes widened as she gasped. She began to protest.

“Reiner please don’t. I don’t think I ca-

He covered her mouth with his slender hand.

“Let me say it before it’s too late”.

He removed his hand and she silently sobbed. He took in her response as his bottom lip began to wobble.

“Y/n, you’ve given me nothing but raw and pure happiness these past few years. I’d like you to know how special it was.” He bit his lip not being able to contain his own tears.

“Y/n I love you”.

She closed her eyes tightly letting the words sink deep into her body. Nodding she opened them again and planted her lips against his. They felt rough and dry against her soft ones. The kiss was so pure it felt electric too the pair, just like their first kiss all those years ago.

“I love you too Reiner Braun”.

She hugged him again leaning against his chest listening to his ever so slowly heartbeat. He trembled holding her head against him. Sighing he closed his eyes ever taking in the sight of his best friend, his lover but most importantly his breathtaking wife. He rested his chin on the of y/n head as he fell asleep content with his end he knew she’d be okay. She was safe and could take care of herself.

Feeling his breathing even out and his heartbeat steady y/n lifted her head and gently kissed the sleeping man.

“Goodnight Reiner. I love you”.

Closing her eyes slowly she herself took in the sight of her best friend, her lover but of course her handsome husband. Sighing with content y/n let the stray tears fall down as she drifted into a deep slumber.

*********

Waking up she felt cold chill hit her the bed felt lighter there was no one laying beside to her. Stretching her arm out she could only feel the empty wrinkled sheets between her fingers. Squeezing her eyes shut she pulled the sheets against closer to her.

Y/n let out a tragic sob from her throat as she tried to keep herself together but the thought of her being all alone made her breakdown.

Pulling them to her face she tried to inhale his disappearing scent pretending his body was wrapped around her. In her mind she could see him smiling. She laughed and tried to grab his chest but she could see him looking healthy his skin bronze and his eyes rich with colour. He stroked her face and she nuzzled into it him trying to remember the feeling. He pulled her head into his chest wrapping round her like a teddy bear.

Y/n felt warm and secure. She felt safe in his arms.

A knock on the door awoke her from her imagination. Grief weighed down on her and she felt hollow. Lifting herself from their bed she stumbled towards the front door.

Galliard stood strong holding Reiner’s old uniform and a letter placed delicately on top. He looked at the woman. She looked haggard her eyes red and puffy tears still present. He felt for her, he knew exactly what it was like too lose someone so close to you.

“Vice chief Braun was an incredible soldier who served his country well and with pride. He bore the armoured Titan and with that managed to infiltrate Paradis island. It was an honour to work with a man like him”.

Y/n just stared unsure of how to react to the man who blatantly sprouted lies to her like she was ignorant. She was mourning her husband. she felt exhausted and empty and wanted nothing more than to sit with her thoughts.

She nodded and give him a weak attempt at a smile.

Galliard could do nothing but stare at the grieving woman he felt pity for her. Giving her Reiner’s uniform and last words.

“I apologise but I must go goodbye y/n”. Slamming the door in his face she walked towards the table placing the items down carefully.  
‘He alway did send letters knowing how I felt about them’ and for once she was right. She knew letters were used as goodbyes an easy way of hiding emotions through a piece of a paper. No matter how many letter Reiner sent her and no matter how much she hated them y/n could never bring herself to destroy any that came from him.

Setting herself down at the table she took The letter opened carefully her hands shaking. His final words were on a piece of paper, the last few fragments of his emotions held onto this piece of paper. His voice that would never be heard and could only through a piece of bloody paper. She held it out in front of her trembling her eyes began to blur from tears.

********

Dear my love y/n,

If you’re reading this then the  
chances are that I’ve died and Gabi has inherited the armoured titan. All my life my heart has always been dedicated to you and only you.

Growing up you were incredibly strong and I wanted to be someone who could protect you. Instead I chose to leave and run away fighting for a freedom that would never come. Everytime I left I would see the light in your eyes disappear and I vowed to myself, that if I was the reason you lost light I’d be the one to bring it back.

That day when I inherited the power a sense of pride fed my ego but as soon as I saw your eyes glance at my arm. I felt incredibly guilty like I was leaving you behind. I’d signed my death sentence without considering the effects it would have on you. So because of that I am sorry, from the bottom of my heart.

It’s breaks me to know that you waited so many years waiting and did nothing but support me through thick and thin. Never once did I ask about you and that’s something I hold with regret and if I could take it back trust me I would. You grew to be a fine young woman and excepted my faults. I confided in you spilled my trauma’s and regrets. Thanks to I was able to live the last four years of my life filled with happiness. That a man like me, so unworthy of a girl like you could call you mine.

I have so much to say to you but I couldn’t fit it all on a page. That night after the war had ended and I broke down you told me everything was okay and that no matter what you’ll never leave. You told me the same thing at our wedding and I did too but my words were hollow. I broke our vows I can’t be with you till you grow old. But I happily placed a ring on your finger and let my fears disappear if it meant your happiness was present.

That night I lay awake thinking about endless possibilities our futures could’ve held. The sheer warmth of your smile as we grow old together, having our own family and watching them grow. How unfair it’s just our luck.

Y/n I don’t know how you waited all that time you’re such a strong character. I truly am in awe with you. On the island I thought about you so much and how incredible you are and that’s what kept me going till the end.

You didn’t let me express my deepest love for you to your face. The many times I wanted say I loved you but I understand now as I write this that it was perfect.

The feeling of growing weak near the end made me feel useless and as I lay beside your warm body cradled for the last time. My body shutting down the curse finally taking its toll. I knew it was the time to say it. My last words to you would be the best. The way you trembled but kept your cool meant the world to me and I will never forget it. So y/n let me say this now.

I love you. I love you. I love you so much.

Finally, I have a request if you’ll allow me. Please don’t resent Gabi for inheriting the armour. She’s a good kid and shouldn’t be forced to inherit my power. I may not be here physically but I will always be watching you. Don’t cry forever my love you’re still young and your life still has not begun.

Don’t hate me when I say this but your are not alone and somewhere down the line, you’ll find someone new who sweeps you off your feet and reignites the love we shared. I want nothing more than for you to grow old with a family and make more memories so many more than you forget the terrible ones. I want to watch you grow old with a beautiful family of your own. The day that happens I know my duty will truly be filled. I’ll rest easy knowing you’ll be happy even without me in your arms. I wish for you to have the best of everything in this crappy world.

My final words to you are that yes, life is unfair and we got the short end of the stick but we made the best of it. You were the right person but we met at the wrong time.

So this is my goodbye y/n thank you for the many years of happiness you gave me in this messed up world. It’s a shame that time wasn’t on our side.

I love you

Reiner Braun.

*********

Y/n’s lip quivered as tears fell from her eyes landing onto the paper. Her body felt heavy as she held the paper close to her heart it felt so unrealistic that her first love would never walk back into their home. She’d never get to smother him in kisses. Never getting to share long walks together sharing stories of their childhood. She’d never get to wake up in his strong warm arms.

Y/n remembered the day Reiner decided to propose and how he effortlessly swung her around in his arms after y/n said yes. How he smiled into their kiss it was filled was passion. For once they truly felt happy and in that moment ignorance was bliss.

Picking up Reiners uniform y/n inhaled his familiar scent and with trembling arms she held it close. Her grief was unimaginable y/n felt responsible for letting him die.  
‘If only I had changed your mind all those years ago imagine how different things could’ve been now’.

She thought that if only she could’ve told him that becoming a warrior was dangerous and that it wasn’t worth the trauma she would still be able hold him close. None the less he was a stubborn as she was and his ideals were simply too strong. The sun shone through the blinds and lit up the room the sun rays danced all over her skin. Y/n whimpered into his uniform letting guilt and sorrow flood her mind.

‘I’ll miss you so much Reiner Braun’.


End file.
